eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
