I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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