I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize