this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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