I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
