Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
