he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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