Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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