i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize