That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Someone came in the potted fern
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
