he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sorry about my life...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize