then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
how can u be prego again
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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