Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
