obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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