So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
