Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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