When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I looked at my own cervix.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize
