Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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