So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
