I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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