I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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