I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
