? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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