Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
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If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
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What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
All the doctor said was why
The air taste purple.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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