First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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