btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
