We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
