don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
