she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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