i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
