either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Someone came in the potted fern
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
