Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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