Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize