I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
