you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
