and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
