So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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