i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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