I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
