Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
