so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize