i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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