Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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