it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
