Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
