Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Randomize
