I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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