So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
