I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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