I'm really into asian looking animals
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
