His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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