Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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