He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
