I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize