We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize