the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize