her vagine was all disorganized.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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