what if every blade of grass was a penis?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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