one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
