I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
We got so high we made milksteak
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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