I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
